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She’s your mom, not your bff

Michaela Reid, Op-ed

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“I’m not a regular mom. I’m a cool mom.”

We all know this famous line from the blockbuster movie “Mean Girls” and it’s hilarity, but in all actuality that type of parent isn’t so far fetched from the rising trend of a “best-friend” parents.  

There are different types of parents.

You have unpredictable parents, strict parents, no concern parents, “no exceptions” parents but not one type of parent is as bad as the “best-friend” parent. I’ve known multiple people who have parents who don’t care when they come home, who don’t mind or acknowledge when their child looks high or even when their child has alcohol on their breath.

The kid thinks this is awesome; they form a strong bond so they don’t realize any bad consequences. These parents who straddle the line of best friend over parent runs the risk of having a child who forms behavioral problems.

This kind of parent has a technical name. If you have taken psychology you know it’s called the permissive parent.

Some signs that you have a permissive parent include: they value your freedom over responsibility, they have very few “rules”, they wait for you to ask for help and they rarely follow through with consequences…  

Kids who grow up with permissive parents are more likely to struggle academically as well.

According to verywell.com revealed that kids with a permissive parents often have low self-esteem and may report a lot of sadness. Permissive parents may encourage their children to talk with them about their problems, but may not discourage a lot of bad behaviors.

When you combine minimal respect for authority with a lack of cognitive ability to understand the consequences for your actions, you can potentially fall vulnerable to many problems. The kid doesn’t have as many opportunities to go through the cognitive process of doing something bad and receiving the natural consequence.

However, this is different from a punishment. Consequences reflect the natural way in which the world works and that is how you should want to be raised.

So if your parent allows you to do as you please, that doesn’t reflect the natural world. You’ll be living in a fantasy world until the day you hit 18.

If you notice that you have a permissive parent at this point, no worries. You can choose to discipline yourself.

Giving yourself a curfew and learning your limits are good habits, if you can pull it off yourself. Another good skill is to be able to see the bigger picture or long term effects of your decisions on your life.

 

 

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She’s your mom, not your bff