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Dating an older guy? Don’t

Michaela Reid, Editor in chief

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He looks at you, smiles and looks down. He can’t be looking at you, can he? He’s a senior.
You think that you’re casually looking away, but in reality you are awkwardly fumbling around with your pen. By now all hope of escaping the trap is gone. He’s got you.
This is often the picture painted by those who wish to forewarn innocent freshman girls from dating an older boy.
The general statement is said over and over, but I have never heard the reasons as to why this could be such a bad thing?
This never became clear to me until I went through it myself. While the result of my relationship was not a negative one, I have definitely learned lessons about self respect and how to effectively communicate it to your significant other.
I believe this element of respect and particularly respecting your boundaries is necessary in any relationship.
My freshman self was quite shy around guys, but I was pretty used to hanging out with the older grades. This combination left me vulnerable to the very typical scenario; he was a junior on the varsity football team, and I was a first semester freshman.
Long story short, we met through a friend of a friend of a friend.
Hanging out with him was so fun and before you knew it we felt like best friends. Often, this is where butterflies start fluttering, but also where some begin to compromise their morals.
I’ve seen it in countless girls, the advice they would give a friend they are not using on themselves. They make excuses for him to not have your best interest at heart.
This is where you need a best friend to talk some cold, hard sense into you as well as step outside the lovey-dovey situation into a third party perspective.
Ask yourself the questions: Is this healthy? Is there something you are not vocalizing?
Don’t fall into the endless cycle of diminishing respect and ultimately compromising your daily moods and feelings. Just because he’s older and has a lot of cool older friends, does not mean your only function is to admire him.
Don’t lose yourself in the process. You should still be cool with your friends and on top of your school work.
As a young girl you are going through so many important choices in your life, and you should not be consumed in wondering if you should sneak out with him. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do before you met him.
This doesn’t mean turn everything into a fight. You don’t want to be so strung up and stubborn that you can’t effectively communicate.
Set a standard. You are younger but you are deserving of respect.
A lot of people tend to have negative connotations to relationships with wider age differences.
These feelings can be justified, but only under specific circumstances.
At the end of the day, it becomes a matter of how you present yourself. If it is with respect toward yourself, he will have corresponding actions.
Whether it is a guy two years older than you or a year younger, to be treated fairly you must maintain some form of standard for yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dating an older guy? Don’t