Since we were kids, motivation such as ‘shoot for the stars’ or ‘you can be whatever you want to be’ has often been instilled in us. They are great ideas, but in reality, it is not true for everyone.

What I didn’t know was that as I grew and became more aware of the world around me, ideas such as these, no longer apply to someone like me.

Being a young, African American female living in America, I can’t imagine feeling more rejected in a society.

That came tumbling down after entering the doors of middle school, where I was introduced to an entirely different attitude. At that point of time is where I was encountered with an overwhelming amount of judgement, and hate for young girls like me.

Being a more reserved person, self esteem and confidence have definitely been something I had to struggle with.

There are many circumstances that can happen that will result in these feelings. For me, there was no specific situation that negatively affected my self-confidence.

Because of this, I would often wonder what it was that caused my shyness. I believe it’s simply the world around me that made me this way.

Young girls face constant pressures to look and act a certain way in society. If something is different about you than everyone else, you are automatically shamed for it.

The constant questioning of if we are good enough does wonders for self esteem.

Hopefully that sarcasm was detected because it’s actually not correct at all.

According to Business News Daily, women are less likely to share their opinions in a group of people, more likely to apologize for things that aren’t their fault, more likely to take criticism personally, and less likely to consider themselves competent in their work.

We can’t ignore that for decades women have been taught to be silent, stay at home, remain uninformed, listen to their husbands, obey the rules, play nice, and to take care of others at the expense of themselves.

While there is nothing wrong with women being caretakers, it does add a complicated layer to this whole confidence issue. It is virtually impossible for us to make decisions without considering how might this be perceived, who might this offend, or how our choices might impact the life of someone who is in my care.
But the most dangerous problem for women? We find ourselves relying on men for our confidence.

It’s helpful to remember that the most dangerous enemy of women is women. It’s the way we treat each other, the thoughts we have about ourselves, and the permission we give ourselves to opt out of doing what is difficult and new.

The biggest reason we lack the confidence men have is because we blame things like culture and advertising instead of realizing we have what it takes to be as confident in ourselves as men are.
Work on your feelings of self-confidence and as your inner-world shifts, I bet you’ll see your outer-world will change as well.