Feelings “Mutual”

We all hear these stories about teenagers who get their hearts broken by other dumb teenagers. We all know the dumb cliches, too. “Teenage girl gets her heart broken and spends her nights and days before school crying her eyes out”.


I have to admit, I fall victim to this cliche. In fact, a guy I fell for recently put a dent in my heart. They didn’t fully break it, but issa dent.


Let me give y’all the rundown of what happened. So it went like this: I got into a relationship with someone that was older than me and after talking to me for a couple months and dating me for almost a month, he pulled that “I don’t know what I want” bullcrap on me.


Now some may think that this is valid, and I’m not saying he’s wrong for not knowing what he wants. But it’s just the fact that he waited so long to tell me how he TRULY felt. That is what hurt me the most.


So afterwards, he tells me he doesn’t want to completely be done with me. And that he still wants to be in my life and still wants to have all the benefits as he did when we were dating.


Keyword: BENEFITS! Friends with benefits, possibly? I think not.


Now this person knows damn well that I don’t mess with the concept of friendship with benefits.


But hang on, let’s go back to the good times of our short relationship. Before this weekend, everything was fine. We went on a date and everything went smooth and we were happily in love.


Then it all changed once he went to a college party. Now I’ve mentioned before that he was older than me. With me being a high school student and him being a freshman in college, you can imagine there being a sort of conflict because of the age difference.


I don’t know what went down at the party, but someone must’ve went down on him because he came back a changed man. He starts telling me that he’s been thinking a lot about our relationship and that he thinks we should “slow things down.”


By slow things down he really meant break up. And apparently it’s something he felt throughout our entire relationship.


The main question is: why didn’t he feel the need to tell me that he felt this was before? Why wait until I grew emotionally attached to tell me? Question of the day.


He claimed he didn’t want to hurt me but he did just that. And I don’t blame him for how he felt; I blame him for the way he went about telling me and when he told me. This is something that should’ve been established in the beginning of the relationship.


It confused the hell out of me and made me feel like everything was my fault. All of my previous relationships have literally failed and it just made me feel like it was my fault, once again.


Although I am really upset about us breaking up, I will still be friends with him. Because I value our friendship more than I value our past relationship. However, I don’t think I will become friends with benefits.


The moral of the story is some boys are just not ready to handle a relationship like others are. But they shouldn’t get themselves involved with someone knowing that they will grow that attachment and connection with them in the end.