“Boys will be boys” is not an excuse

As the only girl living with three brothers, I hear a lot of excuses made on their behalf.

Variations of the excuse “boys will be boys” is a favorite amongst many of my family members, “that’s what brothers do” coming in second.

However, as these boys who heard “boys will be boys” grow up, it can become issues for society later down the line.

According to an article from Psychology Today, “The expression ‘boys will be boys’ attempts to explain away aggressive behaviors that a small number of children exhibit by linking it with ‘natural’ or ‘biological’ impulses, without examining other reasons for the aggression.”

So many people go out into society and act as if it’s their own home; thus, these people generalize all of their actions as excusable.

Since this behavior has never been corrected, it’s gotten to the point we’re even our judicial system is affected by it.

In the recent Brett Kavanaugh case, “boys will be boys” was used as one of the defenses for alleged sexual assault.

Something as serious as rape should not be dwindled down to this disingenuous phrase which is used solely to push consequences aside as to not ruin the lives of boys or men who act in threatening ways.

In a family setting, it can be annoying and encourages boys to act without fear consequences, while encouraging the girls to feel obligated to seem as perfect as possible.

As the phrase travels from the household into the real word, it’s being used time and time again in defense of the crude and reckless behavior.

It may seem harmless to use it in homes, but as humans we tend to react to whatever consequences are handed out.

If the only consequence is a sentence attributing behaviors to biological gender, why wouldn’t these men grow to act out in heinous ways?

I believe our society should learn to take responsibility for many of the entitled mind sets we still see today.

There should be no excuse for unjust actions, nor should we continue to brush under the rug a mess that seems too large to clean up.

Places where youth spend most of their time growing should not be giving off the impression to young girls that their bodies are objects of distraction for their male peers.

Instead of teaching everyone boys will be boys, boys should learn they’re not entitled to everything.

We need to create a society which provides equal reinforcement and punishment for everyone, regardless of gender.

In order to do so, we need to stop excusing inexcusable behavior.

Instead, we should realize consequences are a road to growth not detours from dreams.