Determining Now

Dear Diary:

How could I possibly write to anyone in complete honesty about my current life experiences? Do I choose to focus on the loss, the change, or the unknown of this seemingly endless pandemic?

I think when the world does not know what is to come, that is the moment it has the least to lose. It could be the mental toll of the constant notifications or the inevitable consumption of crippling blue light, but no matter what it is, people seem to act as if there is nothing to lose anymore.

I feel as though the year 2020 is almost a joke within itself. Nothing seems to come as a surprise to me anymore, or at least, not like it used to. We are constantly fed a narrative of breaking news and eventually the adrenaline rush fades, and along with it, the will to emotionally engage.

I am told that fifty years from now we will all look back on this time as simply a nugget of history, but no one tells you that living in history is, simply put, exhausting. I think it is only human nature to want to hold on to what we deemed as normal before the pandemic hit, but if I am to be totally honest, I do not know how we could possibly return to anything resembling it.

—Elizabeth Wojcikowski, Junior

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This piece was contributed by a member of the community to be a part of our Pandemic Diary, a place for writers to share snippets, memories or perspectives of their experience during the COVID pandemic.

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